French Military Victories
- January 29, 2003
- 141 comments
This is hilarious… Jonah Goldberg posted it over at The National Review.
naomi
November 17, 2004
chris
Hailey Tolchin
March 28, 2005
Jacques The Seaman
April 6, 2005
kevin
April 16, 2005
sam
Harry
June 29, 2005
This French bashing page is absolute garbage. I am not French nor am I especially Francophile but I do know that in reality France has one of the most impressive and glorious military histories in the world. I suggest the ignorant american fools who perpetrated this childish “Google” outrage read some European history sometime.
Joe
July 17, 2005
yea, on top of that France doesn’t have an impressive military history, unless ur impressed by failure and loss. this google thing is funny and thats y u suck, because u think its attacking people when all it is, is a bit of humor at the expense of people who just aren’t very good at fighting, they did have some good scientists and food like the guy who invented the hot air ballloon and they have good pastries, lighten up.
Mitch Strand
August 4, 2005
Dennis
August 5, 2005
Saying Napoleon isnt French is like saying people from California aren’t American. Napoleon was born on the island of Corsica and Corsica was taken over by the French. World War 1 was largely a French victory, American troops served mostly as a morale boost. The 100 Years War was also a French victory. France also led the Americans to victory in the Revolutionary War. As the piggy bank, navy, and reinforcements of a desperate army…France made the American victory. Although she has little to be proud of…give her a break.
Dennis
August 5, 2005
Dennis
August 5, 2005
Last post…i promise…btw, when arguing a minority side…try not to make #### up. “I am not French nor am I especially Francophile but I do know that in reality France has one of the most impressive and glorious military histories in the world.” Her military history is far from impressive. It is far from true to say that she has never won a war in her own right…but even further from the truth to exalt her pathetic defeats. Every one of her neighbors and even her colonies have embarassed France on the field of battle at one time or another =\.
Peter
August 7, 2005
I always liked European history, especially stuff about WWII. Ask yourself this, how was it that Poland, which was unidustrialized, poor, with no mobilized military, was able to withstand BOTH Germany and Russia in a 2 front war before falling after 4 weeks, while France had those 4 weeks to prepare, was industrialized, was the last nation to succumb to the Great Depression, only had to fight Germany but not Russia in just a 1 front war, and actually had MORE tanks than the German army, yet France only lasted 3 weeks? Tell me that doesn’t strike you as odd…
joe
August 7, 2005
Jared
August 8, 2005
“I suggest the ignorant american fools who perpetrated this childish “Google” outrage read some European history sometime.”
I believe that it was a Canadian who made the webpage in the first place. Also,
“Saying Napoleon isnt French is like saying people from California aren’t American. Napoleon was born on the island of Corsica and Corsica was taken over by the French.”
That just doesn’t make good sense. Corsicans are a different nationality than the French. Would you say that Algerians were French when Algeria was a French colony? Were people who lived in Guam Americans when we took it as a colony in WWII? Napoleon was Corsican, not French. And they are different.
sontaron
August 9, 2005
Disregarding the whole Napoleon thing here. How about this for a couple of French victories: Tours in 732, the 30 years war, and WWI. For WWI lets think about this: you had the world’s largest army (Germany) attacking another country(France) by land inland. Their army(Germany) was then stuck in one spot until they surrendered. Looks like winning to me.
sean
Quift
August 17, 2005
French defeats and Victories…
Gallish war, well, there were no french present at the time… Just those Celts..
Charlemagne, Kicked major ass. Foundation of western empire, uniting Europe, establihing the catholicsm.
100 years war, won. English kicked out.
1st Crusade. Fatamids virtually humuliated. Palestine CQ, this from an technoligically superior enemy, with the longest supply chains in medieval history, ban the mongols.
War of devotion- 1667-68. Massive territirial gain from spain in netherlands.
The dutch war -16672-78. Massive territorial gain from spain after defeating the combined forces of spain, dutch, and HRE. (Holy Roman Empire/germany for the ignorant lot).
Wqar of the reunions- 1683-84. Deafeating the spanish and germans again. apparantly there were some nice spanish holding left.
War of the Augsburg 1688-1697. On one side France (alone) aginst germany, spain, england, Portugal, sweden and the dutch. ended with status quo.
War of spanish succesion. 1701-1714 Same as above, this time lost.
American war of Independance, 1775-1783. ok, third party consisting of rural peasants with some very basic traing by hired germans were on the scene. Battles commanded by french general though (La Fayette). Washingtons hugely overrated.
Revolutionary wars
War of first coalition.1779-97 Win vs Prussia, Austria, Britain, Spain,
2nd coalition Same as above plus russia and turks. Won
3th coalition. Same as above. Won
4th coalition. all the above plus sweden. Status quo
5th coalition, only britain, austria chickened out. Won
6th coalition. everyone in europe. Decisieve loss. loss of territory, Napoleon exiled. Europes monarchies in europe saved for the time being.
Timeframe for the six coalitions. 1799-1825.
After that the French track-reckord gets a bit worse. But the fact that France was able to completly dominate the european continent, and persue expansionist policies against all their neighbours for over a centuary without any major loss is presendented only by the roman empire.
Well then, now it’s tme for that american war record… [malicious grin] The ONLY WESTERN NATION TO HAVE LOST A FULLY COMMITED TOTAL WAR TO THIRD NATION, UNDERDEVELOPED, NOT-WESTERN PART EVER! In the history of western domination, vietnam ALONE STANDS OUT as THE ONLY LOSS against a non-european foe in a fully commited war.
If you think the US was fully committed to Vietnam, you don’t know much about the Johnson administration and internal political maneuvering during that time.
I seem to remember the French being in Vietnam long before us and getting their asses resoundly kicked. Funny you forgot to mention that.
And what about the loss of France to Algerian separatists in the late 50s, early 60s. I guess Algeria was a highly advanced society at the time, but has only lately become a 3rd world country?
What about the loss of France in Indochina before that?
What about the loss of France to Mexico in the 1860s?
And let’s take a closer look at France’s “domination” of it’s European neighbors…
Norse Invasions – Lost
Moors in Spain – Lost
Gallic Wars – Lost
Hundred Years War – Losing until a female loony comes along and saves them
Italian Wars – Lost (twice)
Wars of Religion – Lost 5 and tied 4 wars against the Huguenots
War of Revolution – Lost
Seven Years War – Lost
Dutch War – Tied
War of the Spanish Succession – Lost
Napoleonic War – Lost
Barbary Wars – Losing until French decide to pay pirates off
Franco-Prussian War – Lost
World War 1 – Losing until English and US join in
World War 2 – Losing until English and US join in
That looks like a spectacular record of “domination”.
And since you bring up the Crusades, but only mention the first one, what happened in the 6th and 7th ones? Oh yeah, resounding French losses.
Tedd
Sontaron
August 23, 2005
OK, Chris, then can Charlemagne, Augustine and Salahadin simply be looked upon as nothing more than ‘male loonies’? They reputedly talked to God before battles and Augustine is pretty much the reason for the development of Christianity as we know it. I don’t really think it’s a fair statement saying that the french lost until a ‘female loonie’ came along, nor do I think it’s entirely fair to completely dismiss Jeanne D’arc as nothing more than just insane.
And in the crusades the point of the battle was to reclaim Jerusalem in God’s name and you had the different eras of the peace of the cross.
With WWI you still had France holding off the world’s largest Army. And it’s not like it was just Germany in the Central Powers there was also Austria-Hungary, Turkey, and Bulgaria. So even if France did have help so did Germany. And remember a tie is not a loss, and even more so if against a stronger power.
Unlike the others you mention, Jeanne D’arc claimed that she heard many voices, not from God, but from Saint Catherine, Saint Margaret, St. Michael and others. I’m not completely dismissing her, I’m saying she’s the only reason France won that war. She was a loony, but I don’t think that belittles her accomplishments as a military figure.
The reason for the different crusades isn’t the point. The point was that France lost.
France was invaded by Germany on May 10, 1940. The Germans marched through Paris on June 14, remember? That’s a measly five weeks of resistance. The point wasn’t that France had help, the point was that France folded quickly.
Sontaron
August 23, 2005
Forgive me if I’m mistaken but wasn’t WWI from 1914 to 1918. And, the furthest the Germans ever got in that war was the River Marne in 1914.
And as for Jeanne D’arc so what you’re saying is that the only reason that the french won was because of a French person, hu…..Funny how that works…
Now don’t get me wrong I’m neither for nor against France. Lets just give them there accomplishments and give credit where it is due.
LMAO!