Infidelity A Good Thing?!
- December 04, 2002
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This has got to be the most irresponsible “scientific study” I have ever seen. Dr. Lucielle Ostertag in Italy (that explains a lot) has concluded that infidelity in marriage is actually a good thing. It strengthens the marriage ties instead of damaging them. She lays down a few rules in order for everything to be hunky-dory despite a person’s lack of self-control…
The Long Distance Rule: Any time you are out of your own area code, it doesn’t count as cheating. Even better is to be out of state. Dr. Ostertag notes the further you are away from home, the better off you are, as it increases the likelihood of not getting caught.
I see. What you really mean is so you can best avoid the embarrassment and guilt that you’ll feel if you’re caught. Not even mentioning the pain and suffering the rest of the family will experience.
Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell: Never ask your spouse about their infidelities, and never say a word about yours. The less you both know, the better.
Oh… greeeeaat advice. Hide secrets from your spouse. Weaken the trust between you and your spouse and marriage will be peachy! And you can avoid that nasty little thing called jealousy too!
Live guilt-free: As long as you and your spouse have an understanding that you can both cheat equally, neither of you ever has to feel any guilt about what you have done.
Let’s completely ignore that most people would get jealous when they know a partner is cheating. They will begin to compare themselves with who they imagine you’re seeing, and can never add up. A recipe for disaster.
Don’t keep in touch with the people you cheat with: A one-night stand is supposed to be just that: One night of passion. Any time you try to extend it beyond that, you run the risk of hurt feelings and jealousy.
Whenever two people have sex, they’re doing more than exchanging bodily fluids. You can’t get any more intimate with a person than having sex. When two people become this vulnerable and open with each other, there is a bond that is made. You can try to ignore that bond, but it will eat at both of you for a long time. Imagine trying to ignore many of those bonds over the years. Every time you have sex with your spouse after that, all you can think of are the others. You’re creating your own personal hell. Her rule shows that she knows about this bond. She tries to cut it off early by advising not to call back, but the bond is already made.
I have friends whose marriages were destroyed because of infidelity. Their lives and their kids’ lives are forever scarred. This “scientist” should be disbarred or whatever they do with scientists.