Our Christmas Trip
- December 29, 2002
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The Christmas trip was eventful to say the least. On our way up there, it took us 11 hours and 45 minutes to get there traveling at an average of 80 mph. Along the way, we had a few episodes that could have fit into a movie similar to A Christmas Story.
For example, on the way up there, we had to make a pit stop to answer the call of nature. Mother decided she wanted to drive the rest of the way, so she got in the car and within a few seconds BARELY missed a parked truck next to us. She would’ve hit it if it wasn’t for my sister saying something. Thirty seconds later (I’m not exaggerating), we pull out on the road to cross the bridge, but there’s signs up saying the road is closed. Not knowing what to do, my mother decides to make a U-turn TO THE RIGHT and ends up stopped, facing the wrong direction, blocking the on-ramp to the interstate highway!! I was just about to soil myself expecting at any point to be hit head on by an 18 wheeler trying to get onto the highway. Mother just sat there, yelling that she didn’t know what to do. At that exact moment, my sister in Kentucky calls our cell phone wanting to know where we are. We had brought two cell phones which look alike, don’t ask why. Both were buried under all our stuff, so my dad is flinging stuff around trying to find it before it stops ringing. Mother yells for him to “just pick it up”, like it’s that easy or something. Sure enough, he picks up the wrong one. Mother decides to start cussing, I guess to make the moment so much calmer and less stressful than it already was. My little sister and I are bug-eyed expecting to get killed at any second. Finally, we see some other cars go around the “road closed” signs. So we follow them across the bridge, but miss the on-ramp! Mother can’t see worth %&*#$ at night, and it’s raining to boot. Mom and Dad begin to nag at each other, and we have to go through someone’s circle driveway to turn around. FINALLY, we make it back onto the highway.
A few minutes later, after hours of traveling and barely making it back on the highway alive, I decide to discuss with my mother why this trip will suck. I begin to say a bunch of things about how I expect the our time to go while we’re up there, all of which were negative (I was tired and didn’t really want to travel for Christmas to begin with). My sister backs my mother, and we three are arguing about how the trip will or won’t be great. Dad decides at one point to TRY to back me up, but only succeeds in getting mother upset, and making my argument look stupid (which it was). Mom then begins to cry. All of this is going on while a Christmas carol is playing on the radio with the words “it’s the most wonderful time of the year!” My sister picks up on this and tells us which thankfully breaks the sour mood and we all cheer up.
Right before we got there, we missed my sister’s street twice! We’ve been in the car almost 12 hours, and we’re all getting antsy. Dad’s driving down a small street at 65 just so we can get there sooner! We end up calling my sister to get directions. We’re driving slowly down her street and don’t see her until we’re right next to their house.
While we were there, my dad and I took my nephew to a science museum “suitable for all ages”, or so the lady said over the phone. It was actually suitable for children. On the way there, we missed our exit THREE times, and eventually ended up in Indiana. We decided to go to McDonalds there and have lunch before we went to the museum. The fries there were the worst I’ve EVER had… period. The oil they cooked them in must’ve been used since the store first opened its doors or something. They were seriously nasty. Not even my 10 year old nephew could eat all of his. Believe me, that says a lot.
Now about the “science” museum… it DID have an IMAX theater, so we thought maybe that’d be interesting. We saw a movie called Ocean Oasis which looked like it would be about all the beautiful wildlife in Baja California. It did show shots of fish and such, but turned into an enviro-Nazi film though with the typical “man is evil, animals are good” spiel. The writing was some of the worst I’ve EVER heard, and the narrators’ voices were over-the-top melodramatic. It was the longest 45 minute movie I’ve ever seen. On the way out, I managed to snap a picture of the giant Louisville Slugger bat from inside our car. We managed to make it back with no problems.
The day after Christmas, my brother-in-law gets up for work, and notices a brown banana, duct-taped to our front windshield. It’s frozen because it was so friggin’ cold while we were there. He thought maybe I had put it there (I don’t know why, and when I asked him why he thought I did it, he didn’t know why either). Anyway, NONE of us knew why the heck someone would do that or if it meant anything. We even asked around, and no one knows either. Does anyone know what a banana taped to your windshield means??
The trip back was surprisingly uneventful, but we did make it back in less than 11 hours thanks to a lot of 90 mph driving. All-in-all, this was a great trip. DEFINITELY one that we’ll all remember.