Loneliness
- July 13, 2002
- 6 comments
This is definitely my most personal post yet. I debated on whether I even wanted to post it here, but decided that it couldn’t hurt to do so.
Yesterday evening, I was watching Three Men And A Little Lady on TV with my nephew and mother. I’ve seen the movie before a few times and it never illicited any kind of response from me. But after watching it last evening, I felt an amazingly strong sense of being lonely. I guess it was the fact that in the movie, a guy realizes how much in love he is with a woman, and then decides his life would be better if he committed to her.
Every now and then, for the past few years, I get little “spells” of feeling lonely. But none were as strong as last night. I felt like crying.
I realized last night just how lonely I was. I guess I had always shoved the feelings down over the last 2 years, but they certainly made themselves known last night! Out here, in the sticks, there is no one my age, let alone a wonderful, single woman my age!
I need to move to a place where there are people my age, and plan on doing so soon. I need to hear back from a company in Austin that I applied at before I make a decision on where. If I get the job in Austin, I will move there. If not, I will move to Texarkana. At the very least, I’m going to look for a singles group in Texarkana that I can become a part of. It’s a long drive, but completely worth it.
I need friends. I need supportive friends who I can also support in turn. I need a wife. I want kids… not immediately, but later on. I need not only emotional love, but physical love too. Hell! I ‘m 27 years old, and I’m still a virgin! I’m like one of 2 or 3 in the world my age. It’s not that I haven’t had the opportunities, I just wanted to wait until I was married. Call me old-fashioned, but I am still glad I have waited.
It’s been 6 years since I had a girlfriend. Part of that is my own doing. My last relationship ended in an awkward way. I very much loved her. I wanted to marry her, but didn’t have the money for a ring. But… it didn’t work out. It took me almost 4 years to fully get over that. I didn’t want to be in a relationship before that, because I didn’t want to get burned. But the last few years, I’ve realized I need a partner. Man wasn’t meant to be alone.
Funny how a little movie that I had already seen a few times before suddenly brought out all these hidden feelings of mine.
Russ
July 14, 2002
Reading that article leaves me feeling more grateful than ever for my beautiful wife of 18 years. She is the most fantastic and most wonderful person I have ever met. I could fill up all your server space talking about how wonderful it is being married to her, but I that wouldn’t be very polite… lol. I will say however, that we have been on the ride of our lives ever since our first date together on September 11th, 1983. I highly recommend a good marriage for anyone who wants one.
SmartAss
July 14, 2002
Insight good. “Three Men and a Little Lady” bad, .... very bad…. very very bad. And look at the bright side, at least you weren’t watching it alone. ...lol… Now, don’t feel sorry for yourself, stop watching bad, smaltzy films that won’t help you fall in love or give you a clue what real love is all about. Sometimes, the harder you look, the less luck you’ll have. Be adventurous, have some fun, and who knows what might happen. Love isn’t something you make happen, it just happens, just like #### happens to all of us. Keep the heart and the mind open and hope for the best.
Thanks for the encouragement and pointers. I am feeling better now, but will still look for a good group of people to hang out with in Texarkana.
I know Three Men And A Little Lady isn’t exactly reality. It was the act of commitment to someone portrayed in the movie that got to me. Not so much the “smaltzy” aspect of it. And it WAS smaltzy.
I’ve been there too, my friend, and I know how much that ache in your heart can hurt. I’m sure it’s tough living in ‘the sticks’, but I’ve been lonely in the middle of a busy college campus and while living in a huge metroplex. It still hurts, though.
I’m married now, though, and I thank God for my wife. It sounds cheezy, but I met her through match.com and I had a great experience overall. You might think about trying something similar. Just be brutally honest about who you are, but be sure to stress your good points. And reach out – there are lots of really great women out there who are dying to meet a good guy.
And don’t worry about the virgin thing. I didn’t wait, and I’m sorry I didn’t. If you do, and I hope you do, you’ll not regret it.
God bless
Hey Chris. I’ve been there, so I feel for you. A few thoughts:
Surround yourself with good people that you care about and who care about you. Even though there may not be a romantic interest, it makes being single a lot easier.
So many others have said this and I’ll say it too; losing your virginity is overrated. I lost my relatively late, but I’m thankful it was with someone that I really cared about. It will mean more when you wait.
Just like the feeling of loniness snuck up on you, so might that woman who steals your heart. Love lurks in the strangest places and can come like a thief in the night. You just have to be open to it.
Stay strong and believe in yourself. I haven’t listened to Young MC in over ten years, but
“When life puts you in the little crunches,
Don’t give up, you got to roll with the punches.”
Take Care Chris.